Cum Catcher

I did not know it was going to hurt the first time nor the second or third time for that matter. I did not know I was supposed to feel good when it was over either. No one prepared me for either, the beginning, what should occur in the middle and definitely not the end.

What I learned about it, any of it, was from books and first hand experience.

My first hand experience over time showed me it wasn’t about me. In all other aspects of my existence I was being shown (programmed) to accept that “It wasn’t about me.” No matter how expert my techniques—you came to this with your learning and programming too.

A European brotha saw an African brotha’s penis and the envy started, because it was bigger. i.e. bigger house, car, diamond, bank account, friends list, followers, et cetera and so on. In the process of man being his human self; not considering the woman he went about teaching the rest of the world things about sex and women that do not apply to all of us.

Boys taught to believe that a big dick was needed to satisfy a girl. Grab those big breasts and give them a hard squeeze. Boys were also taught that the clitoris is her “spot”. Touch it and she gets wet immediately. Stick your finger inside, stick more fingers inside her—she likes that. He was taught that she loved hard thrust into her vagina. Get as far up in there as possible, yes. Add the girls that told him he has good sex and you have the Ego.

Is the head of your dick not the most sensitive part entering the vagina? There is a reason for that.

While a boy is squeezing my breast hard and digging for gold in my vagina trying to reach my Uterus he is bypassing my G-spot. The G is for Grafenberg. It is a small thing easy to miss really because it is only a couple of inches inside me. It is the spot that makes the orgasm flow through my entire body like a warm wave of water. Slowly from the top of my scalp down around my forehead, eyes, temples, sinuses, ears, cheeks, neck, shoulders, arms, wrist, palms, fingers, down my chest and back to my stomach and hips through the center of my being, down my thighs, my knees and calves, through my ankles around my heels, circling the tops of my feet slowly moving though all of my toes at the same time removing all stress, leaving me refreshed.

It is the orgasm I never get to experience because the boy has been programmed to believe some shit that ain’t true.

My Girl said to me, “first he takes care of me, then…” I have found often the “takes care of me part is rushed so that orgasm isn’t all that it could be, on my end I’m forcing because I feel him rushing. I feel him rushing to get me off so he can shove his dick in and out any way he wants to for as long or as short as he wants doing his business. Most often though the boy does not bother with “taking care of me first” leaving me with the mental fuck of remaining active and seemingly attentive, somewhat vocal the entire time waiting, wanting, privately begging for this violation of my body and my spirit to end.

I cannot talk to the boy about the sex he’s got us missing out on because of the “big dick, let me shove it in her vagina and make sure it reaches her stomach or put my finger in her and move it around or try to insert my hand—her clitoris is her Spot myths. Add the ego and leave me to continue to experience the boy rolling over and falling asleep while I suppress the feelings of arousal and cum catcher.

Laying there in the dark, able to hear his loud breathing, I think about all the little girls in other parts of the world experiencing the horror of having their clitoris vulva cut out in some sick ritual because someone somewhere along the way told the boys it was the spot; not possessing it would keep them from cheating because they lack desire. The lack of desire comes from the mutilation itself. The real “Spot” is a couple inches inside her in a hollow.

I lay there and realize that boys should realize porn is the movies and like many movies, a lot of things are hype. A boy being taught that licking the vulva is the only way a girl can cum and then only having intercourse with her night after night after night. I wonder how many beds in America this happens in as I tell myself I will try to talk to him about this matter tomorrow…

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About Each Frame

It is said that I write with passion; true, I write when I need to release energy that will inspire, educate, inform, or release negative thoughts that I hope will touch another enough to evoke change. I love The Creator Of All Things, some of my family members, all those that it took to get to the making of me, #peace, #nature, #photography, #positive energy, #music, and YOU if you will let me. I love intellectual people; they are sexy!

38 Responses

  1. Ronnie

    Wow……There is so much I want to say and at the same time want to say nothing…but here are some questions I have….So is sex apart of love??….is sex and love two different things….and if it is love then the partner would be interested in me first…and if it is sex then it is I get mine you get yours if you can…..Confusing I guess……and I agree with everything that you said….I pray that before my last breath is taken… I will know what love is……

    Isn’t it strange to walk away from something that is suppose to make you feel good…and in your heart the question is what just happen…. 😦

    Many Blessings
    Ronnie

  2. Mary

    All I can say is Wow. Your words are as they came from me and I am sure so many others. We are all programmed to believe that Love does mean sex. We are not taught the deeper feeling that love really is. And especially taught it is taboo to express our true feelings on love and so many of us do not know the difference between the two because we were never taught. Young men are encouraged to take young women as something to get as a trophy and once won move to the next and gather as many as possible to prove manhood. Young women are as you said are taught and now believe that if they want to keep a young man they must submit. No sex is not love the act is totally just that a physical Act . Love is much much deeper then that. And sex does not define you or any one else as the society wants us to believe. I could go on and on. But again Wow your words so very powerful

  3. Charles

    wow!! that has brother thinking.I agree,too many boys learn about sex from friends with less knowledge on the subject than they’ve aquired..
    I think love as it equates to sex,is a spiritual journey for two.If the goal of your lover is to give unto you tenderly the things you as a woman desire,and deserve…

      1. Louis K.

        Actually an older lady showed me the art of lovemaking when I was 22! Thought I was doing my thing until she showed me what I was missing! And a lot I was. Don’t have the to be the biggest to be the best! And if your doing it
        right you have stamina to spare!

  4. This was great. I think that when you are loved he will take the time to find your g-spot, he will wait for you to get yours…to ride the unending wave while he watches and (continues to wait while you sing), then penetrates and brings more pleasure, at this point you can feel his stroke as a symbol of love and not ignorance or selfishness or ego, as you have reason to enjoy his thrust.
    Love is the only way sex is the ultimate…even tho, before love I did have a few probe for that spot and make me holla, its different when I sing tho.

  5. Dion Browder

    WOW! You took me back…you made me laugh. I also blushed and yet you took my breath away…two sistas that walked the same journey. BRAVO LADY, BRAVO!

  6. Bongani

    Kathy,
    You wrote this in such a way that left nothing to the imagination about the subject. You are obviously a straight shooter who “calls it like you experience it”.

  7. Love this. You’ve written what many of us women have experienced. Men need to learn about sex from women and not TV or other men..who have learned about love makeing from..other men.

  8. I have to admit, I was one of those boys growing up who never got the real “birds and the beads” conversation from my parents. Other than that lecture I got in fourth grade gym class one day, I learn about sex through pornography which put and a number of other young people way ahead of ourselves whenever we thought about sex thereafter. Although it would be years before I lost my virginity, it still clouded my judgement in not realizing that the idea of sex for a man is not the same as sex for a woman. Thankfully though, this is a mistake that is correctable in most of our boys that grow into men.

    I think the biggest problem in our American culture is that everyone gets incredibly hung up on the topic of sex, almost more so than someone talking about the topic of race or gender. It’s at the top of the list. Ever since “dick fear” entered into our locker rooms at some point in our culture, sex just became another rigid conversation that people felt they had to sweat over. Thinks like: Is my dick physically inadequate? Does race matter? Will she even care? I’ll bet she only likes it this way or that way, et cetra. And then we wonder why they call it a one night stand.

    It’s obviously paramount to talk about sex from a consequential point of view regarding the risk of STDs and unwanted pregnancy. But because we needlessly scare ourselves to death with it half the time, we find it easier to run and hide whenever the word is mention from one’s breath. It doesn’t have to be that way.

  9. Earl Gibson III

    I am forever amazed and saddened by the countless women I speak to who feel that we have in fact been miseducated. It is imperative that we listen and learn what it takes to really make “Love”. I appreciate your short story but rest with the knowledge that this man understands and appreciates your storyline. I recently read that a real man does not make love to a million women but in fact loves one woman one million ways and I have to say that no words have ever echoed so loudly.. As men we must remember that “love” start and does not necessarily end in the bedroom..

  10. Edward

    Lets start with I quit having sex a long time ago, the few times since I tried after sobriety 12 years ago, I found it to be a totally selfish act of satisfaction by each individual. Like I wrote you Kathy I will be very open and honest from here out in the hope to open everyone’s eyes.

    Most people want to receive great cunnilingus or fellatio until orgasm however they won’t play fair. Visualize this please if a plate was served to you with pubic hair on it and your utensils smelled of feces would eat off of it? NO and Hell NO!!! Yet most lovers want you to “Do” them and won’t wash their nasty behinds! People … good love making starts with a clean ass and frontal area!!! This means wash it right before you begin to play, if you have been out all night wash up before you play.

    After working as a nurse with mostly women for many years I have heard how inconsiderate boys can be. Your penis is not a battering ram or a gag weapon. Ladies you need to get a hot dog and feed it to your man like he feeds you his penis shoving it down his throat causing him to gag. When he gags ask him what is his problem that is the way he feeds you his penis!!! Then strap on a large dildo slightly grease it and proceed to ram it up his ass as you are doing this tell him you love him! Once inside proceed to shove it up in him so far it comes out his mouth. Perhaps those boys wanting to be men will wake up to the abuse that is present here. When his ass bleeds and hurts for the next two days perhaps he’ll be more understanding how your vagina feels! Don’t forget that you have teeth everyone, when someone shoves themselves into your mouth too hard and deep bite them enough to pull back … pain is a great way of teaching a selfish bastard … yea I am sure I am being called a bitch or gay by now but not by real men or someone wanting to share their love.

    I love to perform cunnilingus cause a woman can’t fake an orgasm its in the taste!!! Oh how I love the taste of my lady cumming in my mouth Ummmm!!! After a woman feels and knows you are doing your best to please her and make her ready for penetration you will find some brand new PUSSY!!! Let her get on top and drive after all SHE knows where her “G” spot is and will ride her way to the ultimate orgasms … again you will get some brand new “Pussy!”

    There is an art to giving head you must love it and understand the total power you posses when you have your mates genitals in your mouth. I love the taste as a woman becomes more and more aroused, playing tag with her clitoris with my tongue then to hum it a love Ballard vibrating it into total submission and orgasmic heaven. Both parties should feel very pleased and relaxed when finished. I helped to edit and rewrite a two page “How to Eat Pussy” article let me know if interested. A few ladies and men have thanked me for the detailed information.

    Never, never, never use your penis to beat the hell out of your mate … so not good.

  11. Edward

    I forgot to mention … size does matter somewhat … knowing how to use what you have and with true care for your mate is more important in fact “Priceless.”

    Anyone who does not “feel” their lover should not be naked with them! I agree with you Kathy love making starts long before you ever take your clothes off. This is why I have been celibate for quite some time now.

    Women have become just as selfish as men … most women over 40 years only want their turn because of the “Little boy” syndrome or having been with a dysfunctional man for so long! They don’t even want to kiss you but they want you to lick and suck them silly though, oh yea with a nasty behind too, i.e. toilet paper stuck all in their hairs and lips and smelling like goats with perfume on ewwww!

    I pray to God often for a real friend, and lover. Until then I masturbate at least I won’t catch any STDs, yea I’ll still have that empty feeling but I’ll be relieved for a few days and no drama. Booty calls was never my thing, guess I am too sensitive.

  12. donna

    A wonderful use of words to show emotion of a girl becoming a sexually active woman. The misinformation regarding sex comes from man to man and woman to woman. Sex is not the only thing men want, and women want friendship as much as sex; or at least first. Real satisfaction comes sometimes from just the touch of a partner, and the actual sex ‘act’ doesn’t always have to be a part of ‘love’. In fact, in a realy loving relationship, it is a shared experience, and satisfies both partners. Thanks for writing a good article!

  13. Edward

    Addendum after a man helps his woman to reach a clitoral orgasm he can proceed to help her achieve the ultimate vaginal orgasm which is a total package deal for all involved. When you please your partner by wanting to see them happy and satisfied you become the “Man” and not the boy!

  14. Lynnette

    All thruout mankinds’ history, sex has been a predominant concern, so it’s amazing how we as a species still have not gotten it together. Any one persons’ perspective of sex and/or love is multi-factoral; a mixture of our instincts, learning and experience, consciously and subconsciously. I think the key to mutual satisfaction with ones’ partner is communication, which is not always easy, but over time will get easier. Kathy, I am not going to pretend to know anything about writing style. But as far as content goes, this short story was raw and profound. Left me feeling a little sad as I ponder the sad state of human existence and suffering. But on the other side of the spectrum, life is grand and love can be beautiful and sex extremely satisfying with the RIGHT partner !

  15. Harold Longs

    Girl that was powerfull. The G SPOT. I have been wondering where it at, now I will go home and try to find it!!! I will say this I always find more pleasure in pleasing her then me. I want my women to CUM!!! a LOT!!! Good story!!!
    The CHAMP

  16. Joi

    In my experience, I also have found that most men seem to be completely unaware of what is going on when it comes to intercourse with a woman. I believe the biggest problem is not their knowledge, but our own. Most women don’t know the functions of their body. I for one know exactly where my spots (plural) are and exactly how I want them to be touched. Not only do women not know, but when they do know (and I have been guilty of this in the past) they are afraid to speak up. We lay there and “take it.” They rub our clitoris too hard and we hurry up and moan, then scream in faux esctasy, so that they will get off of one of the most sensitive parts of our bodies. The insides of our vagina can take so much more pressure and combative play. After all, we do delivery our babies through this same canal. BUT, I have to say, just because it is tougher, it does not mean that I want my uterus to forever be in my throat. When you understand yourself, and teach your misinformed mate the anatomy of your body, you will both be elated to discover the beautiful pleasures of a true female orgasm. You may even find that you will end up being showered by her love in more ways then one. 😉

      1. Joi

        I agree, you shouldn’t have to scream or leave that person for them to hear you, but it is usually because some foolish woman has faked it so well that they think they know what they are doing. It’s sad, but we are women need to collectively start telling them the truth and maybe we can then get men to listen. BUT that will never happen so in reality, you have to decide what you can live with. I have experienced “the orgasm flow through my entire body like a warm wave of water. Slowly from the top of my scalp down around my forehead, eyes, temples, sinuses, ears, cheeks, neck, shoulders, arms, wrist, palms, fingers, down my chest and back to my stomach and hips through the center of my being, down my thighs, my knees and calves, through my ankles around my heels, circling the tops of my feet slowly moving though all of my toes at the same time removing all stress, leaving me refreshed.” And I don’t want to go back to faking it!! I refuse too! LOL

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